"The second it seems like everything is falling apart run to God who can put better things together. " - Sincerely.Shanae [my tumblr]
One of the best things about BMT is airmen's time in the day room. Its the one chance you get to be free of everything around you. Its where my hope joy and strength came from. I had time to push myself into God. To invade His space like never before. All the letters I received were answered prayer. I have connected with a couple of my flight mates via FB. I see how they respond to each other almost like sisters. The i miss yous and the remember the time whens remind me that I never developed a solid relationship with any of them. I spent a lot of time by myself in my own little corner praying to God. We were inseparable. I talked to Him day and night. In good times and bad times. He became my family. He was my mother father sister brother aunt uncle grandma grandpa etc. He listened to my pain on bad days. He set my joy on fire on my good days. We went from best friends to lovers. I lost my mind my will and my way in Him.
The first piece of mail I received was from my mom. She has no idea how that letter made everything I was going through worth it. I went from being at home checking the mail expecting nothing but junk to sitting on the floor praying that when I heard Kendrick it was for me and not my sister. I remember the day I received this card from my Embassy family. Before I could even open it I read the back and the tears started coming down fast. I read the card on my way back to my security drawer to lock it up and I looked at the photo. It was the first time in a month that I was able to look at people who I loved so much. They were my only source of support the whole time I was there. From a distance with little to no communication they encouraged me picked me up when I was down and pushed me further when I felt like giving up. God provided everything I needed via these people.
I grew up more in 8 1/2 weeks than I did in 22 years. I was always very mature for my age but this experience was different. It didn't give me anything. Rather is showed me who I was and what I was capable of. It showed me the power of faith and the loving character of God. It taught me how to fight all my giants with confidence and expect nothing but victory from myself. "Lord teach my fingers to war and my hands to fight" (totally hope that is correct LOL)
Before I left I shared one of my greatest fears about leaving with one of my sisters. I told her that I'm afraid that I will come back and no one will know who I am. I want to change for the better not the worse. She told me I had nothing to worry about but of course I worried anyways. And reading letters about how everybody back home was getting close I started to feel like I wouldn't fit in any more. Like I would come back and have to catch up with everybody all over again. As usual she ended up being right. The day I got the opportunity to come back it was almost like I never left minus all the never leave us again speeches I got. Someone even told me I had a glow and I looked so happy. But I don't think any of them could understand how good it felt to come home. It was a blessing to stand in the mist of the most passionate lovers of Christ I know. It was a blessing to stand in a church we could call ours.
With so much going on I haven't been able to get back involved like I want too. But I know that when I do come back finally I will be welcomed back with opened arms. Until then I'm making my way back to somethings I lost. No matter how far down the wrong road I go it will never be too late to make a u turn and go back. Life can easily be divided into 3 sections: past present and future. I am still learning from my past living in my present and preparing for my future.
One of the best things about BMT is airmen's time in the day room. Its the one chance you get to be free of everything around you. Its where my hope joy and strength came from. I had time to push myself into God. To invade His space like never before. All the letters I received were answered prayer. I have connected with a couple of my flight mates via FB. I see how they respond to each other almost like sisters. The i miss yous and the remember the time whens remind me that I never developed a solid relationship with any of them. I spent a lot of time by myself in my own little corner praying to God. We were inseparable. I talked to Him day and night. In good times and bad times. He became my family. He was my mother father sister brother aunt uncle grandma grandpa etc. He listened to my pain on bad days. He set my joy on fire on my good days. We went from best friends to lovers. I lost my mind my will and my way in Him.
The first piece of mail I received was from my mom. She has no idea how that letter made everything I was going through worth it. I went from being at home checking the mail expecting nothing but junk to sitting on the floor praying that when I heard Kendrick it was for me and not my sister. I remember the day I received this card from my Embassy family. Before I could even open it I read the back and the tears started coming down fast. I read the card on my way back to my security drawer to lock it up and I looked at the photo. It was the first time in a month that I was able to look at people who I loved so much. They were my only source of support the whole time I was there. From a distance with little to no communication they encouraged me picked me up when I was down and pushed me further when I felt like giving up. God provided everything I needed via these people.
I grew up more in 8 1/2 weeks than I did in 22 years. I was always very mature for my age but this experience was different. It didn't give me anything. Rather is showed me who I was and what I was capable of. It showed me the power of faith and the loving character of God. It taught me how to fight all my giants with confidence and expect nothing but victory from myself. "Lord teach my fingers to war and my hands to fight" (totally hope that is correct LOL)
Before I left I shared one of my greatest fears about leaving with one of my sisters. I told her that I'm afraid that I will come back and no one will know who I am. I want to change for the better not the worse. She told me I had nothing to worry about but of course I worried anyways. And reading letters about how everybody back home was getting close I started to feel like I wouldn't fit in any more. Like I would come back and have to catch up with everybody all over again. As usual she ended up being right. The day I got the opportunity to come back it was almost like I never left minus all the never leave us again speeches I got. Someone even told me I had a glow and I looked so happy. But I don't think any of them could understand how good it felt to come home. It was a blessing to stand in the mist of the most passionate lovers of Christ I know. It was a blessing to stand in a church we could call ours.
With so much going on I haven't been able to get back involved like I want too. But I know that when I do come back finally I will be welcomed back with opened arms. Until then I'm making my way back to somethings I lost. No matter how far down the wrong road I go it will never be too late to make a u turn and go back. Life can easily be divided into 3 sections: past present and future. I am still learning from my past living in my present and preparing for my future.
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