Next Stop: Consumption

That moment when you haven't prayed in so long. 
Hunger supersedes your flesh and lies in the belly of your soul. 
Hanging your head low you say grace hoping this meal will heal you. 
Lord we ask that you clean this food and make it nourishment for our bodies. 
Bless the hands that prepared it and the bodies that receive it. 
In Jesus name. 
Some where between amen and open eyes your hunger is fulfilled. 
Suddenly you realize those hunger pains were coming from your soul.

The journey I have been on this year has been like no other. I have fought for my life and lost it in the end. I have stayed longer than I should have. Left before my appointed time. Ran to reach destinations I didn't desire to be. Walked in circles avoiding the best each season could offer. Still God is faithful. The very words He spoke over my life are coming to pass daily. His promises have not and will not fail me. 

The love of man without the foundation of Christ is a weapon from the enemy sent to kill you from the inside out.  No matter what people say love is not a drug it does not hurt and if he/she brings sorrow they are not the one. That last truth was the hardest for me to accept. Not because I equated sorrow with love. But because he caused me sorrow and I was so in love. Heartbreak its not a game. Trust me when I say my heart has been in better condition. But I praise God because now it's in better hands. 

Shame and guilt no longer tie me down. I'm confident that the woman I am now and will become deserves the best heaven has to offer. I am and will always be better without happy without moving without living without everything he had to offer. My new motto for this season: Better people. Better relationships. Greater joy. Greater peace. All this way >>>>  #Forward 

Consumption 
And we pray this prayer saying Lord consume us.
Take this land you created and burn us. 
Leave marks from a fire so hot generations to come will know us. 
In love lite us. 
Set me ablaze that refinement meets me when I awake. 
Take up this empty space with your glory. 
Let your genetics reflect upon the gold that awaits me on the other side. 
Show me how to rejoice in this heat even if you don't show up.

For our God is a consuming fire.

Burning the perverted truth even a part of me.
Finally I screamed Lord consume me
Not realizing we cannot confine consumption. 
The closer we get to him all that is false begins to burn. 
We are left naked and bare searching for fig leaves to cover truths we learned before our season. 
Eating that which we don't need because the forbidden 10th is better than the fruitful 90. 
Set me on fire; let everything I touch produce more gold.
In that moment he struck three matches, burning each cord.
I thought three was not easily broken but i missed the revelation that no bondage is exempt from this fire.
The consistent questions ignite pain no prescription alphabet soup can heal. 
Their curiosity kills my search for explanations that I don't have. 
There is no scientific theory that explains this law. 
My perfection will never get its recognition praising on mountain tops with vision fighting in the valley.  
You can be trapped in a cycle of right things wonder where the wrong thing came from. 
Not realizing that all the cycle means is right is on its way. 
The burden of waiting gets heavy when you don't do anything. 
As long as I sit here I'll never get where I'm going. 
But I don't even know where I'm going. 
Come, it's time to leave this place He says. 
But what about that stuff I never got back? 
Is it not right that it be returned? 
Still He sets before me life and death begging me to choose life because His death was sufficient. 
As my feet move forward my heart stays back calculating the cost of letting go. 
Shan how long will you mourn over Saul, seeing that I have rejected him from reigning over Eden? 
Fill your heart with joy and go; I am sending you to serve Naomi. 
For I have provided Myself a Boaz among her husband's kinsman.

People are keys. 
They unlock doors of destiny at the appointed time. 
They are custom fit to your dreams. 
Some people are more than keys. 
They are wells. 
A place to pour out all you have and receive what you need in overflow. 
I broke my box at her feet believing her well was connected to the King. 
How foolish are you to break this box??!!  
It could have fed generations!! 
But generations know not of her hunger pains. 
Her sacrifice is beautiful in my eyes and as My gospel spreads, 
nations will sing of her alabaster box.