Skip to main content

Thinking.

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of a Hell or a Hell of a Heaven." - John Milton

So im thinking about everything. consistently constantly wondering what if this or what if that. its driving me crazy but it never stops. i can make something so simple and loving so horrible and scary by getting my mind started. it can go from awww today he said i was sweet to i wonder why he said that to maybe he trying to make up for our fight last night to he just trying to get back on my good side and etc. just that quick i made something so great not that great.

my mind has been on fire. i had a crazy dream. a mentor of mine from high school saw me at the mall. i ran over to her and we talked. she wasnt as excited as i was about it. but i didnt notice none of this in my dream. so the min conversation ended cause my father came over and told me wear to meet him at when i get done. so i was like is your number the same. and she was like no. and i was like mine isnt either. maybe we should exchange numbers. while we are having this conversation she is slowly walking away and im just stuck standing there.

now it got me started. why would she do that. thats not her type of behavior. she is such a sweet encouraging lady. i love her to pieces. she is awesome. but she wasnt that person no more. got me thinking i could be about to loose somebody who is oh so important to me.

all i can do is think about it. and my mind is rambling on and on and on and on. im going to look it up and sleep on it again tonight. this simple dream could mean i have just grown up and some people i need to let go off. and i know who. but i dont want too. and it kills me. so in my mind all i can think is it started off as welcome to heaven and now its exit to the left or right for hell.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Next Stop: U Turn

"The second it seems like everything is falling apart run to God who can put better things together. " - Sincerely.Shanae [my tumblr] One of the best things about BMT is airmen's time in the day room. Its the one chance you get to be free of everything around you. Its where my hope joy and strength came from. I had time to push myself into God. To invade His space like never before. All the letters I received were answered prayer. I have connected with a couple of my flight mates via FB. I see how they respond to each other almost like sisters. The i miss yous and the remember the time whens remind me that I never developed a solid relationship with any of them. I spent a lot of time by myself in my own little corner praying to God. We were inseparable. I talked to Him day and night. In good times and bad times. He became my family. He was my mother father sister brother aunt uncle grandma grandpa etc. He listened to my pain on bad days. He set my joy on fire on my good d...
Post a Comment
Read more

He Gave

And he gave me hands. Hands to write the vision and make it plain. Hands to wipe every tear as He counted the blessings they would bring. He gave me feet. Feet to walk in the path he set before me. To run this race and endure all that comes my way. To jump over and walk through the valley of the shadow of death. He gave me a mouth. To shout the praises of a living king. To worship the glory of the holy lamb. To move the mountains to new places. To conquer the spirit of silence. He gave me life. Became who I am so I could be who he is. Laid down so I could stand firm. Cried out so I could dream big. Stepped down so I could be set free. Broke chains so I could serve him. Passed down the letter and canceled it through grace. He gave me love. Love to overcome breakthrough. To nurture bring life and survive. To rebuke loneliness inspire and grow. My King My Saviour My Redeemer who is patient and kind. Keeps no records of my wrongs wont delight in my evil ways protects trusts and...
2 comments
Read more

Push Play

"For God did not give us a spirit of fear but of power love and a sound mind." - 2 Timothy 1:7 " There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." - 1 John 4:18 I get a lot of "advice" about love and my relationship. Some good some bad and some that doesn't deserve my attention. Positivity helps me filter through what I need to keep and what I need to throw away. Sometimes I choose what agrees with my feelings over the wisdom that God is pouring out. I'm not perfect. That doesn't take away from my responsibility its simply a statement of truth. I choose to be who He called me to be because who my flesh desires to be will kill me. With that being said here we go. The Way You Love Me- Anthony Evans I try my best not to get set in my ways. I know that my ways are not His ways and therefore they are null and void. They shouldn't have any power over who I a...
Post a Comment
Read more