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My Peace With Pain

"Go find your place of worship. Look into your pain and find your praise. Every low place in your life prepared you for your high place. And every tear you cried was water for the garden of your victory. And even though your in the valley victory comes through your adversity." - Marvin Sapp : Place of Worship

Not advertising has its rewards. But also consequences. I feel like no matter the decision pain is a part of the process. Like at some point somebody was going to make me stare long and hard in the mirror. The confidence it takes to declare something you hardly desire to admit skipped over me until recently. I spent months praying for the lesson. Saying lord teach me. But I was not prepared for an experience. He is faithful to answer on the spot. So quick sometimes you're like whoa is this Him or me. Nevertheless He answered. Taking me back around to familiar places and situations. Digging up all the dirt I had so carefully catered to. Making sure it wasn't over exposed and thirsty. I covered and watered it all. He cut me at my roots. Cracked my foundation with sincere tears. Tore apart my veil with drops of blood. Lifted me up before God to bless me. Broke me on the way back down and multiplied me to feed nations. He was increasing me. Making room for a blessing I wouldn't have room to receive. Some stuff you loose on the journey. Others are hidden. The one you spend the most time seeking reveals your heart. You can trust that better is always ahead or believe it already came. I've been memorized by the view from my window. Not realizing that His view from heaven is perfect. While we prophecy in part God blesses in whole. There is no window called opportunity that comes and goes. Destiny has not passed me by because it needs me to be fruitful. I believe I don't have to shop from behind the glass. I can walk in with humility and purchase with faith. It may be a cold world. But the fire consuming me now is creating a passion that will burn always. In him I have my being and from his hand I shall not be moved. The blessing in starting over is rest. Going through situations once will teach you some things while going through twice will show you some things. You endure the first time but the second time you watch God reveal. There is so much more to pain than just heartbreak. More than just numbness that flows through you. When the last pieces of you seem to shatter to unrecognized crumbs its not the end. It's the falling off of weight you didn't know existed. The tares of another persons soul that infected your wheat. Noticing the difference but allowing it to grow still. Waiting for the day the harvest reveals the truth. It's the beginning. The place you worship in that brings you peace. The lowness that elevates you faster than the speed of light. It's joy you owned that you had no room to release. It's the satisfaction you feel when you realize none of it owns you. None of it has power over you. It could never make God out to be a liar. No matter how tough it is to just breathe I never stop. No matter how many tears I cry I realize that growth requires pain that produces tears. It is with this that I have made my peace.

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