Skip to main content

My Peace With Pain

"Go find your place of worship. Look into your pain and find your praise. Every low place in your life prepared you for your high place. And every tear you cried was water for the garden of your victory. And even though your in the valley victory comes through your adversity." - Marvin Sapp : Place of Worship

Not advertising has its rewards. But also consequences. I feel like no matter the decision pain is a part of the process. Like at some point somebody was going to make me stare long and hard in the mirror. The confidence it takes to declare something you hardly desire to admit skipped over me until recently. I spent months praying for the lesson. Saying lord teach me. But I was not prepared for an experience. He is faithful to answer on the spot. So quick sometimes you're like whoa is this Him or me. Nevertheless He answered. Taking me back around to familiar places and situations. Digging up all the dirt I had so carefully catered to. Making sure it wasn't over exposed and thirsty. I covered and watered it all. He cut me at my roots. Cracked my foundation with sincere tears. Tore apart my veil with drops of blood. Lifted me up before God to bless me. Broke me on the way back down and multiplied me to feed nations. He was increasing me. Making room for a blessing I wouldn't have room to receive. Some stuff you loose on the journey. Others are hidden. The one you spend the most time seeking reveals your heart. You can trust that better is always ahead or believe it already came. I've been memorized by the view from my window. Not realizing that His view from heaven is perfect. While we prophecy in part God blesses in whole. There is no window called opportunity that comes and goes. Destiny has not passed me by because it needs me to be fruitful. I believe I don't have to shop from behind the glass. I can walk in with humility and purchase with faith. It may be a cold world. But the fire consuming me now is creating a passion that will burn always. In him I have my being and from his hand I shall not be moved. The blessing in starting over is rest. Going through situations once will teach you some things while going through twice will show you some things. You endure the first time but the second time you watch God reveal. There is so much more to pain than just heartbreak. More than just numbness that flows through you. When the last pieces of you seem to shatter to unrecognized crumbs its not the end. It's the falling off of weight you didn't know existed. The tares of another persons soul that infected your wheat. Noticing the difference but allowing it to grow still. Waiting for the day the harvest reveals the truth. It's the beginning. The place you worship in that brings you peace. The lowness that elevates you faster than the speed of light. It's joy you owned that you had no room to release. It's the satisfaction you feel when you realize none of it owns you. None of it has power over you. It could never make God out to be a liar. No matter how tough it is to just breathe I never stop. No matter how many tears I cry I realize that growth requires pain that produces tears. It is with this that I have made my peace.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Next Stop: Liberty

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. - John 8:36 "It is the hurt that breaks me it’s the pain that pulls me to my knees and the tears they’ve changed me til what I couldn’t see Becomes so clear to me This is the way The way that you love me" - Anthony Evans Where do I begin? Its been a long 2 months. I went through every emotion there is. I cried more than I slept and prayed more than I breathed. I was isolated from every single comfort zone I faithfully rested my head upon. All I had was a mouth to pray and hands to praise. It was just me and God. And though I know He would never leave nor forsake me I had never felt so alone. I felt abandoned and cut off. The dreams I had grown so accustomed to were no where to be found. The very gift through which all my answered prayer came was out of service. I felt like my prayer was in vain. I started to focus my mind on other things. I begin to rely on people back home to tell me what God was saying. I patiently...

Challenge Accepted: My Scars

A couple days ago a fellow blogger and sister of mine issued a challenge. The challenge was to write a blog on why I show my scars. Once I read the challenge I knew I had to participate. Sharing my journey through writing has been a source of healing and freedom not just for me but for those who read the blog. Ever since I started this blog I have had the support of Rhachelle and I am truly grateful for that. When I bought my first pink my scars tee from her RN brand t-shirt collection I promised myself I wouldn't put it on until I was ready to speak freely about everything I had been through. Needless to say the shirt is in heavy rotation and I can no longer be silent about how Christ rescued me. I hope that you all enjoy this post and decide to take the challenge as well. Check out rhachellenicol.com for more information on the challenge and rnbranddesign.bigcartel.com for the my scars t-shirts and her other ministry tees.  I show my scars because I was never good at putting o...

He Gave

And he gave me hands. Hands to write the vision and make it plain. Hands to wipe every tear as He counted the blessings they would bring. He gave me feet. Feet to walk in the path he set before me. To run this race and endure all that comes my way. To jump over and walk through the valley of the shadow of death. He gave me a mouth. To shout the praises of a living king. To worship the glory of the holy lamb. To move the mountains to new places. To conquer the spirit of silence. He gave me life. Became who I am so I could be who he is. Laid down so I could stand firm. Cried out so I could dream big. Stepped down so I could be set free. Broke chains so I could serve him. Passed down the letter and canceled it through grace. He gave me love. Love to overcome breakthrough. To nurture bring life and survive. To rebuke loneliness inspire and grow. My King My Saviour My Redeemer who is patient and kind. Keeps no records of my wrongs wont delight in my evil ways protects trusts and...