Skip to main content

#ImComingHome

"One thing I've learned: Don't let your mistakes take you out of the presence of God nor allow people's opinion of you when you make that mistake change the way you see yourself! Bc baby we all got something we've done & some still doing it, but His Grace."- Jaz

Would you believe it wasn't my intention to be here typing this all out. I honestly let this blog go. In a lot of ways I gave up on writing with out giving up on it. Stuff that was suppose to be on this blog ended up being condescended to late night thoughts on Facebook and hidden notes on my iPhone. Its hilariously humbling that it took a post on Instagram for me to come back and say something. But I'm here and I have so much to share. I just pray you all are still listening.


There is something about mistakes.
Missing the mark over and over again until you create a cycle of
false humility & sin. But it looks so good and it feels so right. God,
I'm so sorry. Truth be told nobody is upset they missed the mark.
We are upset because conviction won't leave us alone and
condemnation keeps adding chains.

I use to like Him a whole lot. He would say be holy and I
would be holy in every area but the one I knew He was
talking about. I lowered His rank to feed my flesh and
it tasted good until I had to swallow. The bitterness of my
sacrifice wasn't worth the sweetness of His obedience.

I remember falling to my knees screaming at him. I was ready
to go home but I needed to make sure the door was still open.
I knew I had to knock so I told him I would run if the door was
open. Two weeks later I'm still packing my bags. I haven't saved
up enough condemnation to pay for a bus ticket back home.
The journey between two destinations didn't feel worth it and I
couldn't afford it until I felt worthless.

So whose cross did I die on? Stretching my arms wide believing I had
done no wrong, Lord why have you forsaken me? You said you would
be here but instead you're there with your face turned away from me.
Nobody told me my garden was growing vanity. In the cool of the day
I was beautiful flowing freely as the wind blew. But in the sin of one
moment I was arrested for a crime I wasn't created to commit. Naked
as ever, you clothed me and put me out just to build my endurance to
run back.

Shan where are you? Lord here am I. With everything I own that's really yours anyways. I'm standing on the foundation of a word I heard a long time ago. She who looks back is not fit to be in the Kingdom. But she who has two ears knows what your voice sounds like and a stranger she won't entertain. 

Through the chaos of life I can still hear you whispering my name. So today my heart cries out and my tears flow in a language only you can understand, #ImComingHome. 



Comments

Lady Nevaeh said…
Completely Bless My Life !
I Thank You For This Shan !!
Keep Writing !!
Souls Are Waiting To Hear From You !
August 4, 2014 at 6:42 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Next Stop: Liberty

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. - John 8:36 "It is the hurt that breaks me it’s the pain that pulls me to my knees and the tears they’ve changed me til what I couldn’t see Becomes so clear to me This is the way The way that you love me" - Anthony Evans Where do I begin? Its been a long 2 months. I went through every emotion there is. I cried more than I slept and prayed more than I breathed. I was isolated from every single comfort zone I faithfully rested my head upon. All I had was a mouth to pray and hands to praise. It was just me and God. And though I know He would never leave nor forsake me I had never felt so alone. I felt abandoned and cut off. The dreams I had grown so accustomed to were no where to be found. The very gift through which all my answered prayer came was out of service. I felt like my prayer was in vain. I started to focus my mind on other things. I begin to rely on people back home to tell me what God was saying. I patiently...
2 comments
Read more

Thoughts on Forgiving

Most people think they learn forgiveness as a child. Which in part is true. Children generally forgive without thought. You don't have to ask for it or beg for it. They just give it. But something happens when we grow up. Its like we make a conscience effort to eat the apple which brings forth our own ideas on how to forgive. We have to engage our five senses in a way that no man can satisfy. We have to hear and feel the apology. The person desiring forgiveness has to articulate their vocabulary like your favorite song on a hot summer's eve in July. Saying words like I'm sorry because... and I apologize for..... We put our hands together to skip prayer and formulate schemes on how we can make somebody work for our forgiveness as if we are some supernatural higher being who has never needed forgiveness. The victim and the perpetrator always switch places assuming the other should have been the bigger person. We have the expectation for a divine quality to manifes...
2 comments
Read more

He Gave

And he gave me hands. Hands to write the vision and make it plain. Hands to wipe every tear as He counted the blessings they would bring. He gave me feet. Feet to walk in the path he set before me. To run this race and endure all that comes my way. To jump over and walk through the valley of the shadow of death. He gave me a mouth. To shout the praises of a living king. To worship the glory of the holy lamb. To move the mountains to new places. To conquer the spirit of silence. He gave me life. Became who I am so I could be who he is. Laid down so I could stand firm. Cried out so I could dream big. Stepped down so I could be set free. Broke chains so I could serve him. Passed down the letter and canceled it through grace. He gave me love. Love to overcome breakthrough. To nurture bring life and survive. To rebuke loneliness inspire and grow. My King My Saviour My Redeemer who is patient and kind. Keeps no records of my wrongs wont delight in my evil ways protects trusts and...
2 comments
Read more