Destinations

*EMMM EMMM this isn't my typical blog. This is just me thinking.* "Him : So what would it take for you to submit Shan? Me : A lot of time commitment and trust." Ive been having dreams lately about the next steps I have to take in my walk with Christ. It all seems so exciting and fascinating. Its mind blowing to know God visits me every night with a story for me to live out in the morning. But lately I have been living in the past. I wake up to a new day just to have the mindset of yesterday. Its tough. But I adapt quickly in most situations. Now I'm just use to it. Some days I don't even notice it. Its dangerous. And I'm here all the time. Waiting on something I should be doing. I can wait on healing all day long but the scriptures declare that if I have faith I am healed. Jesus tells the woman with the blood issue to go she is healed. Not go and you will be healed. At this point I should be on top of the is and not the will be. You can miss out on a whole lot...

"And when I look back on it all the people who hurt me the most protected me the hardest." - HyQuality I took a long deep breath while I thought long and about if I should listen or keep it moving. I decided to take a chance on healing and listen to what was said. So I wrote everything. Every person action place and memory. I wrote everything down one two sheets of notebook paper. I felt free. Writing has always been an opportunity for me to open up and let God touch me in places no one has touched in years. I cried. The pressure had been released. I wasn't sure if I should have put this up. Then I had a dream. Changed my entire perspective. I started this blog for me. Destinations was a way for me to see my journey in my own words. Ive been hurt by a lot of people. Mostly males. But its all apart of life. I learned that seasons do change and people don't stay the same. So I buy another ticket and travel on until I arrive at a place I can truly call home. So here goes...

"Delayed obedience is still disobedience." "Every daughter deserves a father. But what happens when he really wanted a son?" AHH the joys of prayer. Its been having my mind racing lately. A lot of stuff is starting to come out. I seem to have a lot to say that dont get said. All of that keeps me up 4am. Im so thankful for the gift to write. Its my loud confident fearless powerful voice. Im crystal clear when I write. This is the coversation. They say solitary confinement is cruel and unusual punishment. And I walk in it daily. Not ready to free myself cause I would have to trust some one else. Its not a hell hole until I need somebody. And they walk away every time. I'm left as a distant memory. A figure not worthy of their shadows. I love it nobody but me. Nobody to knock me down. Nobody to never be there. Just me to feed myself understanding in doses. I hate it nobody for us. No semi that comes full circle. No we can do this together. No carry me home cause I...