*EMMM EMMM this isn't my typical blog. This is just me thinking.*
"Him : So what would it take for you to submit Shan? Me : A lot of time commitment and trust."
Ive been having dreams lately about the next steps I have to take in my walk with Christ. It all seems so exciting and fascinating. Its mind blowing to know God visits me every night with a story for me to live out in the morning. But lately I have been living in the past. I wake up to a new day just to have the mindset of yesterday. Its tough. But I adapt quickly in most situations. Now I'm just use to it. Some days I don't even notice it. Its dangerous. And I'm here all the time. Waiting on something I should be doing. I can wait on healing all day long but the scriptures declare that if I have faith I am healed. Jesus tells the woman with the blood issue to go she is healed. Not go and you will be healed. At this point I should be on top of the is and not the will be. You can miss out on a whole lot waiting on the will be. So I'm waiting still. It takes a whole lot more than it should to move.
I can say that I love God with everything I have. He is more than patient with me. Today I stopped talking and He spoke to me. He told me where my healing was. In 5 short words He answered every single prayer I spoke. It amazed me. I had to stop what I was doing and meditate on it. So I sat there almost star struck in a daze. I started to think back on what Ive been praying and blogging and writing. In the words of my amazing man of God He will never send you to a head doctor when you have a heart issue. Convenient word play that matched my situation perfectly.
Grandparents represent great wisdom. My grandmother has a head full of beautiful gray hair. I believe that each strand represents a piece of wisdom that God has blessed her with along her journey here on earth. She tells me to accept it. She tells me I need this and its sooo good for me. She tells me its important that I receive this now and not later. Then I looked at her and I woke up. Its 7:30 am and its storming so bad outside I'm jumping in the bed. This has been on my mind and in my heart. All of me is crying and screaming for a change.
Sometimes I wish I didn't have free will. That I just did it right then and their. But the freedom of choice keeps urging me to turn left. So I put the blinker on and whip the wheel. But that's not what He made me for. He made a person not a robot. His intention was to lead and guide me by faith. I have got to move to another place. I feel the pressure building and either I'm about to explode or somebody is about to let me have it. And that's something I never want to experience again. I remember when I had my way. I had zero control over myself.
"Him : So what would it take for you to submit Shan? Me : A lot of time commitment and trust."
Ive been having dreams lately about the next steps I have to take in my walk with Christ. It all seems so exciting and fascinating. Its mind blowing to know God visits me every night with a story for me to live out in the morning. But lately I have been living in the past. I wake up to a new day just to have the mindset of yesterday. Its tough. But I adapt quickly in most situations. Now I'm just use to it. Some days I don't even notice it. Its dangerous. And I'm here all the time. Waiting on something I should be doing. I can wait on healing all day long but the scriptures declare that if I have faith I am healed. Jesus tells the woman with the blood issue to go she is healed. Not go and you will be healed. At this point I should be on top of the is and not the will be. You can miss out on a whole lot waiting on the will be. So I'm waiting still. It takes a whole lot more than it should to move.
I can say that I love God with everything I have. He is more than patient with me. Today I stopped talking and He spoke to me. He told me where my healing was. In 5 short words He answered every single prayer I spoke. It amazed me. I had to stop what I was doing and meditate on it. So I sat there almost star struck in a daze. I started to think back on what Ive been praying and blogging and writing. In the words of my amazing man of God He will never send you to a head doctor when you have a heart issue. Convenient word play that matched my situation perfectly.
Grandparents represent great wisdom. My grandmother has a head full of beautiful gray hair. I believe that each strand represents a piece of wisdom that God has blessed her with along her journey here on earth. She tells me to accept it. She tells me I need this and its sooo good for me. She tells me its important that I receive this now and not later. Then I looked at her and I woke up. Its 7:30 am and its storming so bad outside I'm jumping in the bed. This has been on my mind and in my heart. All of me is crying and screaming for a change.
Sometimes I wish I didn't have free will. That I just did it right then and their. But the freedom of choice keeps urging me to turn left. So I put the blinker on and whip the wheel. But that's not what He made me for. He made a person not a robot. His intention was to lead and guide me by faith. I have got to move to another place. I feel the pressure building and either I'm about to explode or somebody is about to let me have it. And that's something I never want to experience again. I remember when I had my way. I had zero control over myself.
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