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Push And Pull

And I just sat there. Staring at it. Reading thinking over and over again. Wondering how I could have avoided it all together. Trying to remind myself that everything doesn't deserve a response. I wanted to scream and cry. But all I could do was shake hands and congratulate. It was the best worst news of my entire life. I never wanted to hear these three words. We had this conversation before and it was suppose to remain just that a conversation. Imagine how quickly words can come to life. How a simple sentence can be spoken today and manifested tomorrow.

In a lot of ways as much as I hate to admit it, I needed to hear those words. I needed to know or sure that I had really made the right move. I needed to cast down the many imaginations I had me being apart of that sentence. I still didn't want to hear it. The confirmation the process the beginning the healing all wrapped in one.

God is beginning to go through the list. To give everything we wrote down a judgement of life or death. The fresh wind is coming but not before the consuming fire burns. I cant say im ready. I just know I will be equipped when it all passes me by.

I started writing this about a month ago. And I am finally semi done. I apologize if it seems unfinished. My heart just had no more to say. So here you go:


Colors.
Bright bold beautiful.
Its morning.
Yellow sunshine so bright the energy warms my soul.
Crystal blue skies that capture my every thought.
Ever green trees that stand tall and strong.
Red water that cleanses me like no other.
I dip twice to kill my flesh and restore my soul.
Grace carefully weaves together a dress made of joy and peace.
I sit next to my King smiling.
I was created for this moment.

Color.
Shades of blue.
Its night.
The moon stands pure and white.
Lighting up the deep blue sky.
Revealing what the sunshine hid.
It takes a special pair of eyes to see His glory in the dark.
The stars do what the moon doesn't have enough light to do.
They carry His wisdom in fragments.
They are the bread of the sky the manna from Heaven.
This is the country. In the city the car lights are our only stars.
The collision between rubber tires and fresh pavement is on repeat tonight.

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