Destinations

All my life I've been controlled by emotions. I sense freedom in my next worship session but because I can't feel it I won't grab it. I put my faith in things I could eventually touch. Hatred so thick I could cut a slice. Love so blind I made him my world. Fear so loud I lost track of time. Nothing so strong I couldn't feel anything. Disappointment so wide I knew it was coming. All in the name of facing my giants. I looked them square in the eye and decided to be friends. I figured if I got close they had no reason to kill me. I was wrong. i remember waiting on steps. crying myself to sleep as I waited every second for the doorbell to ring. not wanting to move because i knew he was coming soon. 7 turned into 9. 9 turned into to 11. 11 turned into tears on my pillow until sleep granted me peace. i remember jokes i couldn't laugh at. are you sure we're related? don't call me. ill call you. eventually i laughed to keep from crying. made so many jokes i never ...

Picture This Walking without a set destination. Wondering when my left and right switched positions causing me to go backwards. Hoping I would trip upon my future and land inside His will. Not sure if he still feels the same. He loves me He loves me not. Or maybe I don't love Him. Picture This A young lady fighting to hold on to what she knows. Not willing to give in to her past. Scared that she will disappoint those if they really knew the picture that sin snapped of her. Hoping they would believe for themselves but knowing the cross is heavy. Lord you said your burden is light and your yoke is easy. So why do I feel so heavy? Picture This Love blossoming like beautiful roses in a stone garden. Seperated but holding on tighter than ever before. Beautiful things come from hard places. Walking around several times doesn't always mean the walls fall down. Crazy things happen when you let Egypt conquer Judah. These jeans would fit better if I knew who I was. Picture This It...

"For God did not give us a spirit of fear but of power love and a sound mind." - 2 Timothy 1:7 " There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." - 1 John 4:18 I get a lot of "advice" about love and my relationship. Some good some bad and some that doesn't deserve my attention. Positivity helps me filter through what I need to keep and what I need to throw away. Sometimes I choose what agrees with my feelings over the wisdom that God is pouring out. I'm not perfect. That doesn't take away from my responsibility its simply a statement of truth. I choose to be who He called me to be because who my flesh desires to be will kill me. With that being said here we go. The Way You Love Me- Anthony Evans I try my best not to get set in my ways. I know that my ways are not His ways and therefore they are null and void. They shouldn't have any power over who I a...

"The Holy Spirit is my teacher and who better than Him? I must be teachable if I plan on and growing. And sometimes that means walking ahead with no instruction just a destination." - Type.Classy Sometimes is nice to hear yourself say who you are. It builds your confidence and helps you stand a little taller. I am a firm believer in knowing who you are. People in this world attach so many perverted names to children of God. They pass insults around like notes in high school. They try to pin labels on you not worthy of the King who lives in you. The solution for most is speak no hear no see no. The less attention we give to it the quicker it dies. Yet we forget where the true power resides: think no. We meditate day and night on he say she say forgetting what He said. I was once in this situation. Lending my mind to this world and my ear to Jesus. Yeah He said I was fearfully and wonderfully made but I know He would never create junk like me. You are what you eat. My spirit ...

"The second it seems like everything is falling apart run to God who can put better things together. " - Sincerely.Shanae [my tumblr] One of the best things about BMT is airmen's time in the day room. Its the one chance you get to be free of everything around you. Its where my hope joy and strength came from. I had time to push myself into God. To invade His space like never before. All the letters I received were answered prayer. I have connected with a couple of my flight mates via FB. I see how they respond to each other almost like sisters. The i miss yous and the remember the time whens remind me that I never developed a solid relationship with any of them. I spent a lot of time by myself in my own little corner praying to God. We were inseparable. I talked to Him day and night. In good times and bad times. He became my family. He was my mother father sister brother aunt uncle grandma grandpa etc. He listened to my pain on bad days. He set my joy on fire on my good d...

"Could it be that the same people who hurt you won't get delivered until you do?" - by @preachaboy03 taken from Ms. Rhachelle Nicol' As I strolled down my fb stream I came across this status message. I read it just like I read anything else and moved on about my day. Or so I thought. For some strange reason it stuck with me. It was as if God was using this simple question to calm my built up frustration and to answer my silent prayers. There is so much more to writing than pencil and paper. Its not a convenient gift. I can't turn it off and on like a light switch. I don't always have pen and paper. Sometimes all I have is a cell phone and a memo app. Sometimes i have an iPod and email. Then there are those rare times where I have nothing but a souled out mind. I sit patiently waiting for God to fill my mind up praying I can remember what He said so I can pour it out on paper when I get home. But some how it never goes that way. I forget every time. Everything ...

"There is a king in me. Goliath's to defeat. Visions to decree. Its my destiny. Don't count me out." - Marvin Sapp I see a lot of things as I walk around my temporary home. I've been blessed to have an amazing amount of influence and favor where God places my feet. I have been honored to see stories and see girls grow into strong women. I have also seen the opposite. Young ladies pouring out their all to similar faces that changed names. They wear the breastplate of Jezebel like rubies taking pride in the forbidden fruits that make nations fall. Passing their temples along like hand me down clothes from one generation to the next. Ignorant of the King who died to live inside of them and reign forever. Scared to place their hearts in His hands because the cliches taught in church never said anything about hurt pain or tears. Heartbreak Hotel and Cold Nights Inn were never meant to be home. But we all know a handful of chicks who stay their paying the monthly...