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Showing posts from May, 2010

Freedom

"He never said it would be easy. But he promised me help. That help comes from this gift I have. Id be lost without this" - Type.Classy I must say these are incomplete. My mind has been racing full speed ahead and this is the result. Its two parts not meant to be connected. So here we go part one "Control is a state of mind. Those that think they have it don't. But those they know they don't do." - Type.Classy We are like two enemies. Constant battle of who gets what and why. We can't compromise. We want the same thing the same way. I'm not giving in for you. But you're persistent. And sometimes I just don't have the energy. As much as I hate you I just want some rest. Peace of mind body and soul. We can hate later. This could kill me. But I can't say I care enough to live. If I die you die too and that's my aim. I'll never be able to come back but I'm ready to go forward. We can't be us no more. There has to be separation

Coldest Winter / Summer Love

"But you promised me you would be there when seasons change." - Tamyra Gray Coldest Winter It gets kinda lonely. Nothing growing barren grounds no flowers to smell no beautiful landscape to see. Water turns into blocks of ice. The streets become the perfect ice skating tracks. Long nights lead to thinking. The later it gets the closer to zero degrees I go. I'm trying to warm up. I'm so cold the heat from hell wont melt my heart. Omarion's ice box had nothing on the chills and frostbite I use to break hearts. Midnight tears leave morning icicles I no longer take off. I'm dying. Nothing can compare to letting yourself go. To opening up to people who scream trust me. If I had a dollar for every one who I met who's first name was trust middle me and last Shan Id be across the seas searching for him. When you open up once you will never be the same. But if you do it twice you have a special gift. As much as I fear being alone, I'm only willing to unlock the

the UGLY in me

"two extremes never have a common middle ground. It's either one or the other." - hyquality emotion : my definition is very wide. If I had to roll with one I would say the way you feel and how you express what you feel. At least for me that seems to hold very true. Every one seems to base how I feel off what I do. I'm a very consistent person. I'm the same way all the time. There are rare occasions when I flip. It throws people off but that's life. Can we truly say the absence of a smile is the evidence of no happiness. For majority of my life I've always struggled with looking for the perfect coat of skin. Either I put too many on or I ran out of paint. I can never seem to be properly dressed for any occasion. I've been so dominant in my past that the only alternative I seem to have is being totally submissive. I've gone from taking my middle finger attitude every where I go to carrying half my heart on my sleeve. It's so easy to act like I do

Lets Get High(er)

Smoking : to dream that you are smoking indicates that you are trying to shield yourself and others against your emotions. You have trouble letting others in. [from dreammoods.com dream dictionary] Purification comes through two vessels. Education and correction. - Type.Classy I wake up with the taste of ashes and unclean air in my mouth. Like I myself had lit one up inhaled to hard and choked. It was so real to me. I picked up one and it immediately burned to ashes and from those ashes another grew. It was the second time. I usually don't have the same dream twice but lately these two have been popping up. Same story different people/objects and a new setting. What is this trying to tell me. What is He yelling at me to prepare for. In the back of your mind you always have answers. The one furthest back is usually the complete truth. The one you avoid in the light but cant run away from fast enough in the dark. You have no choice but to accept and consider in your sleep. So my mind