Destinations

All my life I've been controlled by emotions. I sense freedom in my next worship session but because I can't feel it I won't grab it. I put my faith in things I could eventually touch. Hatred so thick I could cut a slice. Love so blind I made him my world. Fear so loud I lost track of time. Nothing so strong I couldn't feel anything. Disappointment so wide I knew it was coming. All in the name of facing my giants. I looked them square in the eye and decided to be friends. I figured if I got close they had no reason to kill me. I was wrong. i remember waiting on steps. crying myself to sleep as I waited every second for the doorbell to ring. not wanting to move because i knew he was coming soon. 7 turned into 9. 9 turned into to 11. 11 turned into tears on my pillow until sleep granted me peace. i remember jokes i couldn't laugh at. are you sure we're related? don't call me. ill call you. eventually i laughed to keep from crying. made so many jokes i never