Destinations

"Whether you open your mouth or not you are communicating. We cannot avoid communication." Yet I'm not ready for this one. All these years. I've replayed the conversation in my head. I'd talk to God and attempt to explain myself and my actions. Like why the distance made me fall in love or why saying nothing gave me time to say something. It started to make sense in parts. Halves but no wholes. I admired the back so we never met face to face. My vocabulary wasn't expanding because I rarely used it. And the times when I did it was more death than life. I could kill it all in a matter of words no guilt no shame. Just bucket of sarcasm and a pocket full of hurt. I walked around for 19 years with a knife in one half of my heart and the other half no longer in service. It was the cut that dug deeper and hurt so bad I couldn't feel it. Never got stuck on bandaid brand cause it just couldn't heal me. They tell me time heals all wounds. Im 21 years old and it

"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night skies are shooting stars. I could really use a wish right now." - Hayley Williams (Paramore) One night I was really going through it. I was watching tv (reminded me why I barely cut it on sigh) and I ran across an episode of The Game. Needless to say as many of us know Derwin had a baby. And it wasn't his girlfriends child. He told her that his child was more important than her and she asked this simple question. The question was how am I suppose to compete with that. Sigh. For those of you close to me you get what had me so choked up. But it got me thinking and I wrote this. It's time like these that I just don't feel like she is me. Like I am a strong as people tell me. Like I can make it from this place once again. The same place I find myself every single time something happens. Some days I'm here to stay standing tall and fearless. Other days I fall back. I fall down praying something soft will catch me. Like lo