Destinations

This is a totally different vibe from what my normal blog is. But I think it needs to be said. I am not a relationship coach, therapist, married (yet *wink*) or anything else. I am simple your sister in Christ who understands what you feel, and can offer you biblically sound advice to help you manage this season of life. I have been blessed to have many different conversations with both sexes about love and relationships. The way we each view these two things amazes me. It is also proof that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. But the God in all of this is that we each have a half. 1 Corinthians 13:9 says "For we know in part and we prophesy in part". We can only speak the part we know and we don't know it all. What a blessing that is. When curiosity is properly managed, it can open the mind to endless possibilities and mature faith. No matter where you land on the spectrum of singleness, don't be afraid to ask questions. Which brings me to my fir...

First of all Happy Friday!! I know it probably won't be Friday when you read this, but its Friday and I am writing it. I hope that the joy of the Lord shifts from being your strength to being your smile. I don't know about you, but I am over asking for joy just to stay strong, I want the joy you can't explain. Lord I pray that the reader of this blog is smacked with an impartation of joy that will blow their minds and make their current situation the best laugh they ever had in Jesus name. Here we go. If I could sum up my 2017 in a couple of words, I would say sorrow traded for joy. It wasn't that it was a bad year as a whole. I learned a lot and I had a lot of rewarding moments. I graduated with my Masters degree, I got ordained at my church again, and I got engaged. All of that happened and I was grateful for every second. I cried when I got my degree because it was the first major step I took to chasing my God given dreams. I was in Buffalo, NY by myself struttin...

ahh 2018 :) Hi. I welcome you with open arms. My heart is open and ready for the best year. I believe that the word of the Lord is sure. There is a reward for faithfulness. I rewrote this Psalm for those who are struggling to stay consistent like me. Those who are frustrated with the responsibility of great gifts. Even those who know greatness is inside of them, but they are too afraid to birth it out. I am praying for you. Don't give up! P.S. I'm back! Its been 2 years and I am finally back. I have a lot of growth, mistakes, tears, and joy to share. If you are here reading this, thanks for keeping me accountable to the gift inside of me. I have wonderful news coming really soon. But until then, enjoy! Psalm 51* Have mercy on me Lord, according to your faithful character, according to the multitude of love expressed on the cross. Wash me in your word, clean me from my wrongs. For I confess my sins and I lay my wrongs on the altar. Against you alone have I wrong...

There are conversations going on in my heart that keep me at the edge of grace.  These are not perfect conversations but interpretations of the heartbeats that keep me alive.  These conversations are also incomplete. Beyond the walls of my heart they are empty and lifeless.  With no meaning outside of emotion, will you lift your glass as I toast ... To the boys I once loved, thank you for not having the courage to love me back.  Of all the things I could regret, it will never be my experience will you.  You taught me how to chase after Him and dive into His relentless love. Finally the scars on my heart are free to reflect His beauty.  To the guys I once liked, you helped me figure out what life is all about and why death is so easily feared.  It is the unexpected last breath that we are afraid of much like the unexpected end we shared.  I absolutely hated to watch you walk away but I'm grateful on my worst days you didn't s...

Confrontation: the act of facing hostility or defiance. the bringing together for examination or comparison. John 21: 15-17 15 So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, son of Jonah, b do you love Me more than these?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Feed My lambs." × References for John 21:15 Footnotes Ï 21:15 - NU-Text reads John. ...

I think everybody has found themselves on the wrong side of the door. Either you wish you hadn't opened it or, in my case, you wish you could just close it. Usually I'm not one to dwell on either side but this situation is special. It took more than a twisting of the knob or a turning of the key. I opened a lot more than a door. And I'm wise enough to say I need to close it. But I'm honest enough to say I don't know how.  And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. (Matthew 16:19 KJV) Even the seasons prophesy. They have no known beginning or end. Sometimes that are skipped or extend but not once do they get offended. The glory of spring does not come at the expense of the exposure of winter. The harvest is consistent in increase but lacking in labor. The same is so of relationships. What starts off as friends can eas...

Intro: Closed Doors I think everybody has found themselves on the wrong side of the door. Either you wish you hadn't opened it or, in my case, you wish you could just close it. Usually I'm not one to dwell on either side but this situation is special. It took more than a twisting of the knob or a turning of the key. I opened a lot more than a door. And I'm wise enough to say I need to close it. But I'm honest enough to say I don't know how. Watch 8 3am is for lovers. Hearts reaching for beats. Racing to feed souls. Minds wonder at the speed of sound Waiting for ears to understand. Full lips dripping with honey From calling on the sweetest name known to man. 6am is for angels. Gentle nudges on your shoulder As you roll over in a new day. A sweet voice reaches down urging you to arise and eat. Provision awaits on table tops Seeking a belly to enter in. Lord I am your servant. Let your word be fulfilled. 9am is for healing. 40 minus 1. Most peop...

"The truth is that the more intimately you know someone, the more clearly you'll see their flaws. That's just the way it is. This is why marriages fail, why children are abandoned, why friendships don't last. You might think you love someone until you see the way they act when they're out of money or under pressure or hungry, for goodness' sake. Love is something different. Love is choosing to serve someone and be with someone in spite of their filthy heart. Love is patient and kind, love is deliberate. Love is hard. Love is pain and sacrifice, it's seeing the darkness in another person and defying the impulse to jump ship." - Unknown And on my way back I decided I would take the long way home and speak my heart. I regret to inform you that speech therapy is over. This is nothing but a confession. - Hyquality For the first time in a long time I sat still. Shook, quiet, and meek wondering if opening my mouth was wisdom or being a fool. It wasn'...

"One thing I've learned: Don't let your mistakes take you out of the presence of God nor allow people's opinion of you when you make that mistake change the way you see yourself! Bc baby we all got something we've done & some still doing it, but His Grace."- Jaz Would you believe it wasn't my intention to be here typing this all out. I honestly let this blog go. In a lot of ways I gave up on writing with out giving up on it. Stuff that was suppose to be on this blog ended up being condescended to late night thoughts on Facebook and hidden notes on my iPhone. Its hilariously humbling that it took a post on Instagram for me to come back and say something. But I'm here and I have so much to share. I just pray you all are still listening. There is something about mistakes. Missing the mark over and over again until you create a cycle of false humility & sin. But it looks so good and it feels so right. God, I'm so sorry. Truth be told no...

A couple days ago a fellow blogger and sister of mine issued a challenge. The challenge was to write a blog on why I show my scars. Once I read the challenge I knew I had to participate. Sharing my journey through writing has been a source of healing and freedom not just for me but for those who read the blog. Ever since I started this blog I have had the support of Rhachelle and I am truly grateful for that. When I bought my first pink my scars tee from her RN brand t-shirt collection I promised myself I wouldn't put it on until I was ready to speak freely about everything I had been through. Needless to say the shirt is in heavy rotation and I can no longer be silent about how Christ rescued me. I hope that you all enjoy this post and decide to take the challenge as well. Check out rhachellenicol.com for more information on the challenge and rnbranddesign.bigcartel.com for the my scars t-shirts and her other ministry tees.  I show my scars because I was never good at putting o...

This was not easy. It took a lot of conversation debating and writing. But it's the truth. It's everything people want to know but can't ask. Or simply don't know how to. It's the black & white version of my colorful story. This is my freedom my healing my peace. Yes it's my place of worship. Now to the poetry. Enjoy!  Almost   What happens when you want to make love?  Speak all of your feelings into existence. Build a solid foundation perfect storms can't break. Endure the coldest winter just to create heat. Make love like midnight dedications. It's just me and the radio. Creation needs two people and I can't make you love me. When, could never compare to back then, that time we almost made love. Yes I miss almost.  Inside Me   It's funny.  The things that make you insecure. The stuff you read as you scroll through.  The garbage you examine like it's brand new.  The wishes you take back hoping it's a full moon.  It's hard believi...

To fall flat on your face is to release who you use to be. To get back up is to become who you are. - HyQuality Between Romans 8: 28 and Galatians 6: 7 I have been building my understanding of everything that has happened. The people that have left. The relationships that have failed. The words I wish I had kept to myself. I have released the claims they had on my identity, demoting them to tools in the Potter's hands. He has kept me because I asked and yield. The blessing is not in a thing. But in the language attached to my name. Either He will reign forever or it will rain forever but I will not put my faith in both. I thank God for the place I am in. The breaking means more room for Him. A part of rebuilding is realizing that I lacked nothing from the beginning. Greater is He that is in me and in Him is all I need. This is not to starting over. This is to making better. Construction Zones There are two things the calm signifies. One is the peace of a new morning the othe...

"Go find your place of worship. Look into your pain and find your praise. Every low place in your life prepared you for your high place. And every tear you cried was water for the garden of your victory. And even though your in the valley victory comes through your adversity." - Marvin Sapp : Place of Worship Not advertising has its rewards. But also consequences. I feel like no matter the decision pain is a part of the process. Like at some point somebody was going to make me stare long and hard in the mirror. The confidence it takes to declare something you hardly desire to admit skipped over me until recently. I spent months praying for the lesson. Saying lord teach me. But I was not prepared for an experience. He is faithful to answer on the spot. So quick sometimes you're like whoa is this Him or me. Nevertheless He answered. Taking me back around to familiar places and situations. Digging up all the dirt I had so carefully catered to. Making sure it wasn't ove...

That moment when you haven't prayed in so long.  Hunger supersedes your flesh and lies in the belly of your soul.  Hanging your head low you say grace hoping this meal will heal you.  Lord we ask that you clean this food and make it nourishment for our bodies.  Bless the hands that prepared it and the bodies that receive it.  In Jesus name.  Some where between amen and open eyes your hunger is fulfilled.  Suddenly you realize those hunger pains were coming from your soul. The journey I have been on this year has been like no other.  I have fought for my life and lost it in the end.  I have stayed longer than I should have.  Left before my appointed time.  Ran to reach destinations I didn't desire to be.  Walked in circles avoiding the best each season could offer.  Still God is faithful.  The very words He spoke over my life are coming to pass daily.  His promises have not and will not fail me....

"Sometimes people do you wrong. But its not an attack on you. Its a flaw in their character." - Pastor Meadows I just want to start off by saying this is reason #723 that The Shaking is one of my favorite events at Embassy International Worship Center. This great man of God always drops a few gems for us to take home and place inside our hearts. For me personally this is one of those gems. The more I think about it mediate on it and pray over it I feel more free. I feel like burdens are being lifted and situations are loosening their grip on not just my heart but my mind. This word came to shift everything I thought I knew about why people hurt me. You know the usually things we think like because they really dont love us or because they were never the person we thought they were. But what if they are that person. What if God is just using you because He knows the situation wont break you? What if He has allowed the situation to happen to show you who He really is? What i...

Some how sex has shifted from a benefit of marriage to a requirement of infatuation. It's no longer cool to save yourself for marriage. But rather save yourself for when it feels right. So women lay down expecting great sex only to get up wishing they were more patient. We want the anointing to please partners without the commitment of a lifetime. We test drive a perfect plan made by a perfect God. We mock holiness for the gems of this world. Hey, it's okay if you have sex with him cause if it's not good you're still a virgin. It's like we have redemptive power according to how we feel. Virginity sold to the highest bidder! We put price tags on moments we can't get back. Sell temples we don't even own. If nobody owns you then you should be dead according to the law. The biggest lie I use to believe was sex is painful. Most people have no idea what sex really is 1. Because people don't read the Bible. And 2. Because some how opinions became facts and fa...

A man's belly shall be satisfied with the fruit of his mouth; and with the increase of his lips shall he be filled. Death and life are in the power of the tongue; and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. - Proverbs 18: 20&21 You can build a beautiful house with positive language. One that opens its doors to love joy peace prosperity faith and hope. These are all seeds to the blessing. You know the one that finds you no matter where you are. The one that God adds no sorrow to. The one time has no effect on it leaps from seed to harvest and harvest to seed. The blessing that makes promises it can't break no matter what you do. Or you could build a prison. A place where the bare minimum is never enough. A place where the 60 and 100 fold can't survive because your faith ran out of hope. Where expectation is cancelled by curses you inherited not realizing that life is in the Blood. I've lived in both places. Attached myself to curses that other people carri...

Most people think they learn forgiveness as a child. Which in part is true. Children generally forgive without thought. You don't have to ask for it or beg for it. They just give it. But something happens when we grow up. Its like we make a conscience effort to eat the apple which brings forth our own ideas on how to forgive. We have to engage our five senses in a way that no man can satisfy. We have to hear and feel the apology. The person desiring forgiveness has to articulate their vocabulary like your favorite song on a hot summer's eve in July. Saying words like I'm sorry because... and I apologize for..... We put our hands together to skip prayer and formulate schemes on how we can make somebody work for our forgiveness as if we are some supernatural higher being who has never needed forgiveness. The victim and the perpetrator always switch places assuming the other should have been the bigger person. We have the expectation for a divine quality to manifes...

I think that to assume your good friends will always be there when you need them puts unrealistic pressure on them. It puts them in a place that only God should be. It takes away your appreciation of God's promise to never leave nor forsake you. Sometimes we are left hanging high and dry. No one answers the phone or responds to that text. It's not in that moment that you find out who your good friends are but rather who God is. If I let go of every friend who wasn't there when I needed them I wouldn't have any friends. Often times its not a friend we need but it's God. If we turned to God as much as we turn to friends we wouldn't feel so betrayed. There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Yet we desire the comfort of men over the comfort of God. Im not saying there is something wrong with needing a friend. We all need a friend. None of us were created to be alone. Even God said it is not good for man to be alone. However I am asking what happens when y...

Minor misconception to Major problem  The statement if you stopped loving me you never loved me in the first place is an interesting thought to me. It seems like an attempt to put love in a time frame. Like its a conditional statement. If you did in a previous season but you don’t now then you never did. Maturity changes ones perspective. Now that I’m older this relationship is no longer fitting. So I choose to move on. This is wisdom. It takes far more than love to make a relationship work. How do I know? There’s a simple yet profound principle called a three fold cord. This cord is not easily broken. If there is one string missing from this cord called love then of course its easier to break. This is where that statement comes from; if you don’t now then you never did. But what if that isn’t the case? What if love just needed a better support system? Perhaps a mix of prayer praise and worship and it wouldn't have fell upon a change of season. Prayer incubates while ...